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Hill Country Living

Here we all are again. Cold. Yet again, the temperature is pointlessly below freezing. How many times am I going to have to write about cold weather, my least favorite life occurrence? This is out of control. But the point of my column is to write about living in the hill country so I guess this is us now, as they say. 

I know the winter storms are very stressful for a lot of parents because we have to work. I mean, I don’t know about y’all but if I were to sit on the sofa doing absolutely nothing, just staring ahead with dead eyes like I was in Weekend at Bernie’s, then it would be days before my kids thought to check my pulse. 

But the second I make a slight move to wash a dish or, god forbid, answer an email, then all hell breaks lose. Spontaneous wrestling matches erupt in the middle of the kitchen, everyone suddenly becomes excruciatingly hungry and they begin to suffer from severe malnourishment; kids who were completely immersed in watching hours of mind-numbing Minecraft videos on YouTube just minutes before suddenly throw their shoes for no apparent reason and can’t find things they don’t need and never made the slightest move to look for. It’s like they have a brain wave sensor somewhere that signals their inner Lord of the Flies every time Momma’s brainwave ticks in the general direction of work-mode. 

So, what I’m saying is that last Friday when the school informed us that they were letting out only a few hours after we had gotten the kids to school, I’m pretty sure I felt the vibrations of the collective curse word muttered under the breath of every parent in Water Valley reverting through the ether. I’m sure it registered on some atmospheric scale somewhere. 

I never got a robocall, though. Just found out through Facebook posts and texts. I was wondering why I got a school robocall in the middle of supper every time I desperately needed to be reminded that it was Wear A Funny Hat Day yet I was not getting a robocall when it was Your Kid Might Be In Danger of Weather Related Icy School Bus Crash So We’re Calling It All Off Day.

But, no worries! It was apparently just a fluke because I got the school robocall this morning at 5:40 a.m. informing us that school was closed. I was actually pretty happy because that meant I got to sleep more. So I went back to sleep, dreaming of the warmer days of early last week. But the school, doing their due diligence, made sure I was truly aware that they were closed by calling again at 6:04 a.m. They knew some parents would not accept today’s school closing after that three and a half day weekend so they had to really drive home the point. I get it. 

Here’s another reason I don’t like cold weather: Why does it snow on the ground but not the road but then other times, like today, it snows on the road but not the ground? And then other times it snows on both? I realize it’s snowing everywhere, just melting in some places but seriously how warm can a dead leaf on the ground be that it melts a million snowflakes? I might need therapy over cold weather. I have too many unanswered questions.

What I do know for sure is that the kids love it and that sure is cute. I hope everyone had a fun snow day and that arranging child care went smoothly and cheaply for you and that everyone had the chance to take a minute and make the Southern Winter mascot…a tiny little car hood snowman.

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