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Hill Country Living

By Coulter Fussell

It’s the week of the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, so you’d think with so much extra daylight hours during which things could occur that one would have lots of exciting events to report. 

But, after having written this column for several years, I have learned that mid-summer is the slow season for content. This is the time of year where toward the end of the weekend, I ask my kids,” Hey kids, if you were me what would you write about in your column this week?” 

Yesterday when I posed this question to them, one answered, “Why doughnuts are healthy” while the other one answered,”I would never write a column.” 

These two answers are incredibly unhelpful but surprisingly exemplary of the separate ethos of my two children and I’ll let those of y’all who know them guess which one said which.

Sometimes when a column is due and the mid-summer days are nothing except me collecting abandoned wet swimming towels from the hot car and yelling from another room for my kids to quit screaming into the Fortnite game, I secretly wish that something would happen so I could witness it and write about it. 

I’m like, “Man, what does it take to get column material? Can’t somebody get robbed around here?!” 

That almost happened yesterday when I was picking up dead tree limbs from my yard and several sheriff trucks and six Mississippi Department of Corrections cars rounded the corner, all stopping at a neighbor’s house. This is an elderly neighbor I speak to every day when I go on my walk. I was like,” Oh, look-look! What do we have here?!”

I wish no bad luck on anyone (unless they deserve it) but, man, I thought my column prayers had been answered when the law all got out wearing their various vests and gear and all circled the house. I could see several deputies position themselves behind the house in case someone made a run for it! I stood on my porch like the nosey neighbor that I am and always will be and waited patiently for the shoot-out to begin.

Instead, I saw a serious but very calm interaction between law enforcement and the elderly neighbor that involved what I assume was a gathering of information. After a few minutes, the neighbor went back inside and the law slowly walked back to their trucks where I could hear them talk! I was going to get the details! Yeah…the details of where they were going for lunch.

The lesson here is that if you need column material then do not ask your kids or law enforcement. They are food-focused and not interested.

Other than the shoot-out-that-never-was, a big thunderstorm knocked around several massive rotten tree limbs in my front yard that blocked my drive-way. After I let them hang there in the tree for a few days due to lack of motivation on my part, we managed to get the tree limbs out with the help of another neighbor who watched us struggle with the branches for a while and then slowly walked across the street and calmly pulled half the rotten tree down with his own strength by using a rope he had in the back of his truck. 

So, all in all, my neighbors have really stepped up for me this week in terms of writing material!

Happy longest daylight week of the year to everyone! May your days be calm, peaceful and devoid of column content.

1 Comment

  1. cynthia spencer on June 26, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    This article is one of the most insensitive and insulting use of print in your paper. It makes me sick that a journalist would make lite of someone being robbed in order to have something to write about. Ridiculous.

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