The Ladies Weren’t Too Happy With Old John
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Hill Country Living
By Coulter Fussell
It’s a Wagner Week and during this month 133 years ago, 20 year-old John Wagner was having a hard time with the ladies. And it wasn’t for lack of ladies! Quite the opposite. Seems that John kept doing the 19th Century version of leaving someone “on read.” He was a notorious ghoster, for sure, and this is certainly not the only time John gets blessed out for not writing back. But this is quite exceptional in that he seems to have ghosted several people at once.
The scathing sarcasm from the mystery girl in the last letter is so severe that she doesn’t even sign off. Either that, or the yellow fever she denies got her before she could sign her name. She and Ida from the first letter clearly have beef and I hope everyone eventually got over each other.
Oct, 1888
Dear John,
I want to know if you are offended at me. You know the little circumstance that occurred Friday evening was not intended to offend you and I am very sorry if I did and will apologize.
As Ever,
Ida
Oct 24, 1888
Cousin John,
What has come over the spirit of your dream?
I wrote to you nearly three weeks ago and haven’t heard one word since. As several of my letters have been lost in the mail lately, I thought perhaps the same fate befallen yours. If you want to stop corresponding, for goodness sake and for mine, say so, and don’t stop off this way.
Yours sincerely,
Minnie
Oct, 1888
Dear John
Maybe if I had a real pretty bouquet to accompany my letter you would appreciate it! Do you understand?
I was so glad to get your letter and it did seem an extremely long time until the next, etc. but “the letter came at last.”
Yes, after three changes in classification we are really studying with a view and I like it. I guess I do, since I know it must be. I’ll admit though, I do think rides, picnics and champagne decidedly the more enjoyable. Indeed, our last picnic was grand. What would I give for one more such day!
Of course, we have heard of the fever, but are not the least excited or uneasy for there is such a thing as exaggeration.
I am so uneasy about our Sunday School class, those three will die with the fever, I think, and don’t you too, think it advisable for the classes to unite? Wonder what Olive thinks on the subject. I am confident that if the classes were to unite and Olive was in our class you would attend Sunday School regularly.
I can’t imagine why Ida expected a letter from me, for much to my disappointment she forgot to ask me when I left; she very kindly offered to act as Post Mistress between you and me, though, during my stay here. So considerate, don’t you think so? Yes, yes, she’ll “wonder on.”
John, your girls are always considerate of your comfort and you said you and Miss Sadie were going to have a party. I will, If you just write me, come.