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By Coulter Fussell
It’s the dog days! It’s time! The Watermelon Carnival is finally here! I can already hear the windchime sounds of frozen watermelon ice cubes clinking at the bottom of kitchen blenders up and down the valley. And I’ve also heard talk that there’s a great opening ceremony planned! Apparently, a bunch of town leaders and local characters will sit on the same side of a very long table and eat watermelon halves in a depiction of the Last Supper! We can all take guesses as to who all would “make the table,” in general, but I predict they place Mr. Binnie at the seat right in the very middle, don’t you?
Oh, I’m just kidding, y’all. Nobody’s doing that. There’s no need for such silliness as we still have the greatest opening ceremony of all time which is hoist our reigning Watermelon Queen three stories into the air in a bucket-lift via crane and have her lovely highness drop a ripened watermelon to its splatter-y fate onto the asphalt below — marking the official beginning of our watermelon games! Perhaps Paris could take notes on the visual and emotional effectiveness of good ol’ fashioned simplicity and drop a crusty baguette next time. Or a slice of fromage.
The start of school and Watermelon Carnival coinciding is too much to handle, to be honest. I’m not sure my human brain contains the capacity for logistical planning to deal with both of these major events happening simultaneously. And I’m not even one of the people who is in charge of either a classroom, any aspect at all of the Carnival or – frighteningly — both! All I have to do this week is watch my teenage kids walk out the door for school and then mosey on up to the watermelon park at some point. Yet, somehow, the thought of all this happening in the same 48-hour period still stresses me out. I would have never predicted that I would grow up to one day have a form of watermelon related anxiety.
As always, my favorite Carnival event is the Watermelon 3K Run. Most years I show up and run it. Some years I’ve intended to show up and run it but watermelon margaritas the night before dealt with that. 3k is such a short distance, though, that I feel the intention to run it counts as actually running it. So, I’ll claim that I’ve never missed a race! I imagine there are people in town who have also never missed a Watermelon 3k but on a much more legitimate level than me. I look forward to seeing all the usual runners and walkers at the race – maybe!
There is a Best Dish competition again this year! As a person who’s second favorite town event each year is the Rotary Club Chili Cook-Off, I highly approve of this Best Dish contest. My love for homemade dish contests probably stems from watching my mom and aunts completely dominate the Best Cornbread and Best Fried Chicken competition in their small-town festival back home. I look forward to finding out who the Simone Biles of “Side-Dish” is in Water Valley.
Whatever your favorite event – have fun, stay hydrated and know that, as a Water Vallian, you have a special place at that long watermelon table of life.
