Morgan Who? At Least My Gardenias Showed Up
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It’s very early on this beautiful, bright Monday morning and I’m writing this column from the cold, hard bleachers of Vaught-Hemmingway Stadium. I’ve been waiting here all night. I hear Morgan Wallen is about to walk on stage any minute!
Just kidding, I didn’t go to the Morgan Wallen concert as I hadn’t much heard of Morgan Wallen until my oldest kid got some second-hand, last minute tickets to the Sunday night concert. Morgan Wallen is a country music star, in case you didn’t know. I accidentally called it “the Morgan Freeman concert” several times and eventually came to realize, through reading about Morgan Wallen in the news, that I was more off-based about that than was initially obvious.
I feel bad for all the folks who took their time, money, families and expectations to the concert only to be disappointed when Morgan Wallen never showed up. None of that was their fault. As of now, the official report is that Morgan Wallen lost his voice. There are a couple of ways to view this whole situation, in my opinion.
Firstly, he’s a human and humans sometimes malfunction. One of my brothers is a touring musician and he’s lost his voice before shows which resulted in him having to cancel performances. It’s a nightmare for the musician. Nobody wants this to happen less than the actual performer.
Another more popular take is that Morgan Wallen over served himself and couldn’t get out of bed for the show. I wouldn’t be surprised because, hey, that’s Country. Country music has no lack of songs about doing exactly what Morgan Wallen might have done – which is drink too much. Lest we forget ol’ George “No Show” Jones. So, I say, if you buy a ticket to a country concert by a dude in his 20s then you’re sort of making a gamble anyway. There’s a chance the fella might not make it to the stage.
My kid and his friends still had fun. The biggest triumph of the night was that they scored a table at Waffle House after the concert was canceled. It was probably easier to get an original Morgan Wallen ticket in the end-zone than land a sit-down spot to eat consolatory hash browns after the fact.
But you know what took a beating and eventually did show up to fulfill their obligations? My gardenias! I assumed that they were entirely dead after the Polar Vortex zapped them into skeletal oblivion. I was almost ready to begin mourning their loss but, still in some denial state, had yet to cut them down. I couldn’t bear the thought of it.
Well, lo and behold! Yesterday, as Morgan Wallen was maybe passed out on a sofa and possibly getting uselessly pumped with IV’s and B-12 shots, I noticed the smallest of little green leaf babies on my deadened gardenia branches! It’s a miracle!
So, if you have “dead” gardenias, go outside and look real closely along the branches. If you see tiny green leaf babies emerging from the joints then all is not lost and this is your Waffle House hash browns moment of Spring. Enjoy!
