Hill Country Living
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By Coulter Fussell
Greetings from Miami. I’ve been here on a work trip for a few days. Having never been to Miami before, I realize this is the farthest South I’ve ever been in the United States. There’s not too much farther you can go, I guess. While this may be the furthest south I’ve ever been latitude-wise, it is definitely not the deepest South I’ve ever been. I think we might have that title cinched up in the ol’ Hill Country.
This may be surprising to y’all, but I’ve found Miami to be very different from Water Valley. For one, in Water Valley (and I think I speak for everyone reading this) one never feels like they’re in a J Lo video. Even if a J Lo song were to come on the music rotation at PigSaver (which never happens) one wouldn’t necessarily feel the J Lo vibe on any serious level. In Miami, I definitely feel like I’m in a J Lo video — except not as a singer or dancer. I feel much more like the prop person’s aunt who’s visiting from out of town and accidentally wandered into the shot and now they have to start the whole scene over because I ruined it. If you ever feel like a Memaw walking down the street in Water Valley, wait until you walk down the street in Miami being from Water Valley! You will experience next-level Memaw-ness.
The buildings here look like giant paper towel tubes made out of Legos and there’s some new-to-me lizard varieties that scuttle along the numerous chain link fences and hot sidewalks. These Miami people wear string bikini tops out and about like we wear high school mascot t-shirts. I went to a thrift store close to where I’m staying and the shoe section was literally nothing but flip-flops and stiletto high heels. That’s it. These are people of extremes.
The most extreme of their extremes is the prices. I bought one single, very plain cocktail for the price of an entire bottle of preferred spirits back home. So, in turn, I’ve been reduced to staying in my hotel room for fear of immediately going broke if I step outside. I’ll never complain about a Water Valley price again. Not that I ever did because, come on. Except my electricity bill, I’ll probably still complain about that, even though it’s mostly my fault.
Miami is terrific with all the art, graffiti-murals, museums, music and tacos. If you haven’t been and ever get the chance to go then I suggest you save up for 35 years and take a trip down here.
I missed Double Decker for the first time in probably 20-something years because of this trip. I never actively tried to never miss a Double Decker – I usually had to work on the Square that day or just had nothing else going on and so I wound up there. I heard it was a big time. My kids saw music (not J Lo), ran a race, ate fried food and jumped in a bounce house for several hours. All for the price of one drink in Miami.
