Hill Country Living
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Hill Country Living
By Coulter Fussell
I hope that everyone had a lovely Fourth of July. Personally, I experienced severe Fourth of July burnout. Having the holiday fall on a Tuesday essentially led to the Fourth of July lasting from 5 p.m. on Thursday, the 30th of June until the wee early morning hours of Wednesday, the 5th of July.
Monday, the 3rd of July was entirely ignored as a working day and was a holiday by way of piggyback.
By the time the actual holiday rolled around, my Fourth of July watermelon had been consumed and all the fireworks had been shot. I didn’t care about independence anymore. I wanted a monarchy that would declare the holiday over.
However exhausting, experiencing what seemed like 88 days of July of Fourth wound up being a gift because, as we all know, it poured down rain on the actual July Fourth. This essentially put a big damper on everyone’s main event and fireworks were minimal.
I’m a big fireworks fan so I never get worked up about the noise, unlike my wiener dog Oscar. It is an evolutionary mystery to me that he barks his ever-loving head off for 20 minutes every time a butterfly in the next county flaps its wings, but his soul entirely leaves his body at the faraway muffled crack of a single bottle rocket shot from three blocks away.
And this Fourth of July was a doozy for the dogs because there were also several hours of thunderstorms involved. Dogs will sniff out bombs and suitcases of meth, save babies from burning buildings, eat live chickens for giggles, chase a rolling truck tire in an apparent suicidal death wish while happily yapping away in what may be their final milliseconds of life…. yet they lose all ability to function when it sprinkles or someone lights a sparkler. How did these animals make it this far? They seem ill-equipped.
My point is, if you happen to walk down the sidewalk past my house, my dog Oscar will break the town noise ordinance to let you know he is aware of your presence. So, when people shoot fireworks for fun in celebration of our only life here on this Earth, I refuse to get mad as some sort of show of solidarity with my wiener dog. Because on any other given day Oscar is the loudest entity in Yalobusha County. Oscar, I’m sorry you’re scared but this is on you, man.
Lastly, thank you to the lady in line in front of me at Pigsaver on July 3rd who bought my single can of Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk and the gallon jug of water a young man was waiting in line to buy. She did this because she had a big ol’ buggy full of groceries (clearly about to host her whole family for the holiday) and she didn’t want me and the young fellow with the water to have to wait in line behind her.
How nice is that?
I want her to know that she helped fund an absolutely delicious pint of homemade peach ice cream made from peaches brought all the way from Chilton County, Alabama. It was enjoyed by all!
