Hill Country Living
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Hill Country Living
By Coulter Fussell
I find it highly cruel that I was out of town on the morning it finally rained in Water Valley. I was only gone for one solitary night. And that just so happened to be the night it rained? That’s sus, as the kids say.
The weather clearly waited for me to leave Water Valley to do something nice as revenge for me talking bad about it in my column so much lately. But what choice does one have when the weather decides to turn the Dog Days of Summer into the Dog Month of Summer?
The dog days have been around since ancient times. The weather can’t just arbitrarily change it to a month! The Dog Month of Summer we just endured was so hot that if it had a symbolic mascot then it would be the scrappiest Highway 7 dog you’ve ever seen. Second Chance Animal Alliance would think twice about giving it a second chance.
Despite the heat, I still got out and walked around town every morning. I don’t walk at this time of year for enjoyment or self-care but more because I’m in state of maniacal determination not to be defeated by humidity. As part of my around-town route, I pass by the TIN music space over there across from the Depot. There’s a couple of tables out on the sidewalk there and for several days in a row there was a giant book laying face-down on one of the tables. After the third day of walking past this giant book, I finally turned it over because I’m nosey.
The book was a three-inch thick biography of Cleopatra, a former queen of Egypt. Perhaps you’ve heard of her. Well, long story short, I now know everything there is to know about Cleopatra. Seriously, ask me anything about Cleopatra. This book covered it all and, by default, I now know a whole lot about Julius Caesar (of salad, surgical childbirth and pizza-pizza fame) and hottie Mark Antony. And, just to be clear, I didn’t steal the book off the table. I got my own version on Audible. Unlike 99 percent of the old rulers in Egypt, Greece and Rome, I don’t just go around taking things that aren’t mine.
I would like to say that I’m telling you all this in an effort to encourage everyone to get out and walk around town for exercise as you never know what all you might learn. You may learn about the riches of the Nile and the Roman Empire! But, in truth, I’m telling you all this because I have been so absorbed in this biography of Cleopatra that I don’t have anything else to write about this week. This is worse than when I went through my history of Yellow Fever phase.
But I’m very thankful as it has entirely distracted me from being even the slightest bit swept away in the tidal wave of wild and annoying obsession over the infamous presidential mugshot. No offense to current events, but drama-wise, that has nothing on Cleopatra and her crew. Her ancient dog days delivered.
