Elma Meek’s Sharp Tongue Strikes Again
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Hill Country Living
By Coulter Fussell
It’s a Wagner Week and Elma Coleman Meek never disappoints. This young Oxford socialite is writing to our own George Wagner, as she often does. The “Lowney’s” referenced in the letter are chocolate bon-bons. The “Carrie Watson act” seems to be a reference to a Gilded Age murder in Chicago wherein Carrie Watson, the most famous high-end brothel owner of the time, stood up for a woman of ill repute named Madeline Sturla (one of several aliases), when she famously murdered a man-about-town and lover, Charlie Stiles. Elma is so good at put-downs that to be insulted by her would be an honor.
Tuesday Night
November 18, 1902
Dear George,
Your letter came last Friday and I thought I would try to give you a breathing spell before I answered. Now, you speak of your “deserts” — yes if you had them. I wouldn’t write you anything, just do like Missella. Guess Missella is so busy entertaining that Ph.D at the B.Y.P.U. convention she doesn’t have time to even mention us in her prayers. I hear she is very frisky and goes to all the parties. I wonder if she knows him to “do” at them, don’t you?
If you don’t quit flirting with that shop girl we will come up and do the Carrie Watson act on you. I made some fine candy last week and thought of you while I ate it. I know you appreciate my thinking of you. Wish you were here, I could tell you some really funny things that I think you would enjoy, but if you’ll be good I’ll save the frisky letters and read them to you.
Have been feeling pretty badly lately, had to have the Dr. three times last week and he is coming again the latter part of this week!! Last week was my lucky, or shall I say, gaining week.
You remember the week before I lost everything.
You would like to know what last week brought forth. Well, Lowney’s, American Beauties, a ring and a proposal — think of my youth and blushes!! For a while I thought of taking “students” advice and getting in over my eyes but on second thought I decided I had too much curiosity. And then again, a lady who has been an old maid, a married woman and is now a gay maiden told me how bands were neither desirable nor satisfactory — and I consider her a good judge. He is to come to see me again in a few nights and writes me he has something to tell me. Of course, I have no idea of what it is — you see how excited I am. His sister will be here on a visit and he wants me to meet her but I told him I wasn’t ready to go on exhibition yet. Say, don’t tell anybody about this, but if I could just tell you all about it you wouldn’t have to laugh at Beck all the time.
I’m like you, to hear one of Binford’s infectious laughs would do me good.
I have just heard that Belle Sullivan is living on a farm near French Camp and is perfectly happy. Isn’t it charming to be so easily pleased?
If I catch you writing shorter letters I’ll bounce something off your head. Auntie, who is asleep, sends her regards.
Your friend,
Elma C.M.
