The Strange Arithmetic Of Aging
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Hill Country Living
By Coulter Fussell
I’m writing this column on the morning of my birthday. I turned 49 years old today and while I have been expecting this to happen all year, it still feels wrong and factually inaccurate. Are we sure I’m 49? Like, absolutely sure? This can’t be correct. Yet, when you subtract the year I was born (1977) from the current year(2026) it does, in fact, equal 49. But I feel like maybe some esoteric algebra should be involved in the math to get a more holistic reading on my age. Like, since I share a birthday with my son, Amos Henry, I can also claim his age by association.
This makes me a bright and perky 19 years old today! I also read in a meme online the other day that people who are in their 40s are the oldest of the young people while the people in their 50s are the youngest of the old people. This is the kind of math I like. I’ll be young again next year!
On a vaguely related note, my family has found out this week that there is one thing that brings all the generations together: heat exhaustion! Both my husband and my younger teenage son tried to be tough guys in various ways and suffered weird and unusual muscle cramping, nausea, skin tingling and general malaise. What was surprising is that neither one of them was doing anything out of the ordinary for either of them – one was mowing the lawn and the other was playing pickleball.
But, now that I have earned a Heat Exhaustion Studies PhD from the University of Google, I can share that heat exhaustion and heat stroke happens often during first-of-the-year heat waves. And that is exactly what we’re in. So, y’all stay hydrated, don’t mow the lawn at high noon and don’t play a sport named by a toddler.
In Water Valley construction news, the first round of sidewalk repairs is winding up so we can now focus more of our attention on the progress of the facelift happening at FNB Water Valley Bank. This project is going on right at the end of my street and at this point I’m pretty sure I know all the steps one must take to build a drive-through window and put new gray stuff on the outside of a building. The big mystery and eventual reveal will be what color they paint the building. Or if they paint it at all! I could always just text Kim Ingram and ask but I feel that’s cheating and I should have to wait like everybody else.
In Water Valley supper news, Courthouse Café is answering the prayers of many Water Vallians by trying evening service! Starting this week, Justin and crew will serve their lunch menu until 7:30 pm on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Once they get it rolling smoothly, then they plan to expand the menu to dinner items. I know we are all excited about this! So, let’s promise to be patient and understanding while they work it out because we all know it takes a village to run a restaurant. And our village of Water Valley will help make it work!
