Can Gipson MAGAfy His Record?

To the Editor,

Andy Gipson is running for governor. Because he wants to ban, as I understand it, the God of Abraham or parts thereof. 

I won’t pretend to know Sharia from Shinola, but I know it’s from one of those Abrahamic religions that all come with those Laws of Moses. That may only leave him the Hindu vote and some atheists. That takes some political guts. 

I’m glad our Agriculture and Commerce Commissioner has something to fill his evenings, but what has all this Sharia got to do with agriculture or commerce? I’d look it up, but I am old and I ain’t got the time left to plow through all its laws about fairness in agriculture and commerce. So I worry young Andy doesn’t get enough sleep, considering his day job with the state. Then I learned about his additional interest in national and global issues on a campaign page that the State of Mississippi seems to be paying for, which also says things in Mississippi are just fine.

He could take the time to MAGAfy how he and his friends have advanced the causes of agriculture and commerce in the state during his tenure and how we are paying for it at the pump and checkout line today.

When elected, and once well rested, would he continue the Republican tradition of leaving the state or country during bad weather?  Would he advise, as did his predecessor at agriculture and commerce, our current U.S. Senator whatshername, following in her little bootprints, that we find alternative sources of protein and maybe diesel? Will Andy build collegiate sports complexes off the plates of poor children? 

Something has scared Andy. I can forgive any father’s concern when his child is out in the world beyond his protective grasp.  And if one stays up late at night researching Muslim law, one might be a little raw the next day.

I can also understand how a guy who likes really big cowboy hats, even to the point of wearing them indoors, may obsess a little on female millinery. If his hat were too tight, he might not remember that we already have 250 years worth of laws, hated though they may be, protecting the kids so they don’t have to sit through alternating morning or monthly Voodoo chicken decapitations, Wesleyisms, Wiccan toe dancing, Appalachian snake handling and various accompanying school prayers. Whew. Some anti-traditionalists may not admit it but the Founding Fathers, may have seen this diversity thing coming and prepared to protect children from undue influences.

So what is the actual threat of Sharia?

The very 1st Amendment says there can be no state religion nor can the governor control religion. So if Andy is seeking to undermine the 1st what’s next, the 2nd,  the one that says…. OMG Andy Gipson is coming for your guns

I pray for our farmers and cry about commerce and but I think I should hide my guns.

Art Boone

Yalobusha County, Mississippi