As a concerned animal lover and member of WVETA (Water Vallians for ethical treatment of animals) I am writing about the untimely death of Mr. No Shoulders last Thursday afternoon.
Our friend was minding his own business by the tomatoes when he trampled by legal counsel. I am sure Mr. Shoulders suffered a long and agonizing death after the brutal incident.
My purpose is to raise funds for his slithering family to put him to rest with dignity. Make your checks payable to:
The Humane Society of the United States
2100 L Street NW
Washington, DC 20037
/s/ R.E. Montgomery
1317 Jones Street
Water Valley, MS 38965